Updated: Aug 26, 2020
You are loveable. You do deserve to be treated with respect. Opening up to love after heartache can be challenging, here are some tips to support you on your journey.
Opening up your heart after hurt can be frightening. Will you ever allow yourself to love another person so deeply again?
And if your instincts got you there last time, how can you trust it won't land you in the same predicament?
These are normal fears that restrict humans from the joy, pleasure and growth of authentic deep connection.
There are ways to stay safe and empowered in relating. Techniques to calm your nervous system and stay in your body to trust your instincts and lean into your fear.
You don't have to lose yourself in relationships nor do you have to enter guarded from an avoidant mentality and sentimentality. .
Firstly, trust is something built and earned over time with an individual.
So, observe how your love interest responds to you.
Do they take the time to ask how you are?
Do they listen and hear your needs?
Do they check in after intimacy?
Are they willing to show vulnerability- someone who has developed self empathy, will be more willing to show empathy to others.
Know your own triggers. Do they work to find out whats your attachment style? When do you feel under threat? Knowing this and connecting the 'FELT SENSE' of these emotions helps you modulate them as they arise.
Share your needs and seek a therapist to support you to heal hurt and hardwire in the belief that YOU ARE LOVEABLE!
Find solace that all of us have experienced some hurt and love lost. And that a life without love is a lonely one. Become comfortable with leaning into your fear and reminding yourself of the joy that connection brings to your life.