Consent and Sex Coaching:
CONSENT can be trained to be alive and present in the body.
This is what my NO feels like.
This is my YES.
We do this together in clinic with lots of awe, care and laughter.
Somatic exercises that help you practice clear no's. To feel how it feels to express that, to listen for any resistance that comes up around saying no- what gets triggered?
So often we don't want to hurt others with our truth.
For a person that has experienced sexual violation and is caught in a freeze response, or fawning to avoid further pain; the body is likely to have over ridden it's safety barrier again and again to violate your own inner wisdom.
"No, I don't want that".
Consent is a gift to ourselves and though it might feel like rejection to the one receiving the answer, it is a gift.
We are teaching each other our needs. We are at times using our no to say- "this is how I want to be loved right now".
And giving permission for no to be in the room, invites both parties to exercise their choice which creates a trusted relationship to know that, we have the capacity to HOLD ourselves AND speak up for our needs.
Throughout a Sexual Empowerment Coaching session, I regularly support my client to practise no and stop and to take long pauses to practise regulating their nervous system to a point of safety in which the yes arises as a willing truth. " Yes, you can continue".
The whole while engaging the client to tune in to the subtle and gross messages of the body.
It might take many sessions before we move into touch.
For some clients, the body has created a dis-ease state around touch and intimacy. In women this may look like Vaginismus or Vulvadynia. Where the body gives out excess pain messages in order to protect itself.
In Sexological body work and Intimacy Coaching, it may take some time before we can approach the genitals. Much of the healing comes from re-learning to trust your body and to feel safe enough to up hold boundaries.
So, for some clients, consent and boundaries is a vital step, before addressing the vaginismus or vulvadynia directly, but every breath, every consensual receptive touch or directive next step is inviting AGENCY and empowerment.
The body begins to relax under this consistent trusting embodiment of self directed touch.
PLEASURE can now have far more space and permission to shine, in a nervous system that has boundaries that can be felt, heard and expressed.
The entire system brings a healthy form of aliveness to the skin, the blood, the muscles, the fluids and the pleasure body.
Consent can be a subtle arising or loud clear voice.
What I witness is that Sexological Body work and Sex Coaching has a profound effect on all areas of someone's life.
It's such an honour to hold people through the journey of deep listening.
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